She announced her abortion via fbk
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
