i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
