OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
