So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So here I am, sexting at work.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize