I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
