it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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