Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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