I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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