So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
