the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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