you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize