the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
cat food counts as protein by the way
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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