the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
