honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
