He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
