i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My dick has a subreddit
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
