So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
