Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
