Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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