I can tuck mytits in my pants
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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