Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
