I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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