I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A+ Viking dick
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
