I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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