ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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