your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
