i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
