And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
