I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
