i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
