my mouth tastes like poor choices
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
