you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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