I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
