i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
pop tarts are not kleenex
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
