btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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