YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
