i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
