Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
