Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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