And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
