waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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