i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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