i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
