Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
