I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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