Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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