Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
