can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
