Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He? As in you personified your dick?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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