So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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