If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
