Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
