That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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