you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
