Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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