you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
