I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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