I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
