dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
