WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
