Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
