Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We need to get me chipped asap
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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