He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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