Please, let me fuck your mom
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
