thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
