is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize