Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
