just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
