What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
