I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
