She's JV to your varsity
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You ate ashes out of my bong
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize