why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
