It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
