I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
