Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
