But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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