i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
