I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I am available for nakedness
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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