he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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