Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
this will be a night to untag.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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