I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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