I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
